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The Strength in Saying “I Don’t Know”: Embracing Vulnerability in Leadership

We’ve all been there, feeling like we need to have all the answers, especially as leaders. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that leadership means knowing everything, making quick decisions, and always having the perfect response. But the reality? The strongest leaders I’ve worked with are the ones who have the confidence to say, “I don’t know,” and then take the right steps to figure it out.

Humility in leadership isn’t about lacking confidence. It’s about recognizing that leadership isn’t about personal knowledge, it’s about bringing people together to solve problems, learn, and grow.

Why Admitting “I Don’t Know” is a Strength, Not a Weakness

Saying “I don’t know” can feel counterintuitive. We’re often taught that leaders should always be certain, that admitting uncertainty makes us look weak. But pretending to know everything can erode trust, people see right through it.

When a leader says, “I don’t know, but let’s find out,” it does something powerful: it builds credibility. It shows that you’re transparent, open, and willing to learn. It also reassures your team that asking questions and exploring different solutions is not only acceptable but encouraged.

I’ve seen this play out firsthand in my career. I’ve worked in high-pressure environments where decisions needed to be made quickly, and there was often an expectation that leaders would have immediate answers. But I’ve also learned that making decisions based on assumptions rather than facts is a recipe for disaster. The best outcomes have come when I took a step back, acknowledged what I didn’t know, and leaned on my team’s expertise to find the right path forward. 

The Role of Curiosity in Leadership

Great leaders don’t have all the answers, they ask the right questions. 

Curiosity is one of the most underrated leadership qualities. When you admit you don’t know something, you create space for exploration. You invite diverse perspectives, uncover insights you might have missed, and encourage creative problem-solving. 

Curious leaders foster an environment where questions are valued as much as answers. They recognize that innovation is rarely born from certainty, but rather from the willingness to challenge assumptions and explore alternative solutions. When leaders model curiosity, they encourage their teams to approach problems with a growth mindset rather than a fear of failure. 

Additionally, curiosity strengthens collaboration. When a leader expresses genuine interest in hearing different perspectives, it not only builds trust but also empowers individuals to contribute in meaningful ways. This dynamic can lead to unexpected breakthroughs and improvements that would have otherwise remained unexplored. 

One of the most effective ways to cultivate curiosity as a leader is to ask thoughtful, open-ended questions. Instead of immediately looking for a definitive solution, asking, “What are we missing?” or “What other approaches could we consider?” this helps engage the team in deeper thinking and shared problem-solving. The more leaders practice this, the more natural it becomes for teams to embrace challenges as opportunities for growth rather than roadblocks.

Some of the best ideas I’ve seen in my career came from someone being honest enough to say, “I don’t have the answer yet, but let’s figure it out together.” That kind of mindset builds a culture of learning and collaboration. 

I once worked with a team navigating a particularly complex logistics challenge for an event. The easy thing to do would have been to push forward with an answer that “sounded right.” But instead, we acknowledged that we didn’t have all the details yet, so we paused to gather data, consult experts, and weigh different approaches. That willingness to embrace curiosity and problem-solve together led to a far better outcome than any one person making a snap decision. 

Creating a Culture Where Learning is Valued

If you want your team to feel comfortable speaking up, questioning ideas, and exploring solutions, it starts with you. If admitting uncertainty is seen as a weakness, no one will take the risk to ask the tough questions. But if you make it clear that learning is valued, your team will be more open, engaged, and innovative.

Here’s how to make that happen:

  • Encourage questions: Let people know that good questions are just as valuable as good answers.
  • Recognize expertise: If someone on your team knows more than you on a topic, lean into that. Give credit where it’s due.
  • Normalize “I don’t know”: Model it yourself. Then follow it up with action, researching, brainstorming, and problem solving together.

Balancing Confidence and Humility

Being honest about what you don’t know doesn’t mean you aren’t confident. In fact, it shows real confidence. The key is balancing humility with decisiveness.

Confidence isn’t about having all the answers, it’s about knowing how to navigate uncertainty. It’s about asking the right questions, bringing the right people together, and moving forward with clarity even when things are uncertain.

I’ve had moments where I needed to tell my team, “I don’t have all the answers right now, but here’s what I do know, and here’s how we’re going to figure it out.” That approach reassures people that while everything may not be known immediately, there’s a plan in place to get there. 

Practical Strategies for Leaders

If you’re looking to bring more humility and curiosity into your leadership style, here are a few things to try:

  • Respond with curiosity: When faced with a tough question, try saying, “That’s a great question, let’s explore that together.”
  • Leverage your team: Trust your team’s expertise. You hired them for a reason, so let them contribute.
  • Follow up with action: If you don’t know something, commit to finding out and keep your team in the loop.
  • Acknowledge mistakes: Sometimes, not knowing leads to getting something wrong. Own it, learn from it, and move forward.

Reframing Leadership: It’s About Empowering, Not Knowing Everything

At the end of the day, leadership isn’t about always being right, it’s about fostering an environment where the best ideas can surface, where learning is encouraged, and where people feel comfortable admitting when they don’t know something.

The best leaders I’ve worked with weren’t the ones who had all the answers. They were the ones who created space for others to contribute, who weren’t afraid to say, “I’m not sure, let’s figure it out,” and who knew that leadership isn’t about knowing everything, it’s about guiding the process of discovery.

So next time you’re in a situation where you don’t have an immediate answer, own it. Say, “I don’t know.” And then, lead the way in figuring it out together.

Let’s redefine leadership, not as the person with all the answers, but as the one who brings people together to find them. Leadership isn’t a solo act; it’s more like a jam session where the best ideas come when everyone plays their part.

I know firsthand that admitting “I don’t know” has led to some of my best leadership moments. It’s not about weakness, it’s about inviting collaboration, curiosity, and, occasionally, the wisdom of the office coffee machine, which seems to have heard more strategic discussions than most boardrooms.