If you’ve worked in the events world long enough to have a few scars, you already understand something most leadership books barely touch.
People do not think the same way under pressure.
Not in planning.
Not in execution.
Not at 4 a.m. when the tent vendor is late, stakeholder approvals are jammed, and a storm system is moving in over your load-in window.
Not when the gates open and the perfect tabletop scenario instantly collides with real life.
Leaders fall into a common trap. They assume everyone’s internal wiring resembles their own. It is one of the most persistent and damaging blind spots in this industry.
There’s a pop-psych idea that men have a “nothing box,” a place where they can shut the world out and genuinely think about nothing. Neuroscientists such as Gina Rippon and Cordelia Fine have dismantled this myth for years. The science is clear. There is no truly silent brain. Even people who say they are “thinking of nothing” still have the default mode network running in the background. Marcus Raichle’s work demonstrates this well. Some people access quiet more easily than others, but the difference has nothing to do with gender. It is shaped by personality, experience, environment, and the coping strategies people develop.
The stereotype survives because it reflects something familiar. Some people quiet their minds without much effort. Others cannot. Some compartmentalize. Some scan constantly. Some talk things through. Others retreat inward and build solutions quietly.
These differences are not flaws. They are human. And in the events world, they matter more than most people realize.
This industry is a pressure cooker filled with personalities, politics, timelines, safety requirements, community impacts, weather, sponsors, broadcasters, volunteers, transportation agencies, and a ticking clock that does not care how well-rested anyone is. Opening day does not move. That environment exposes how differently people think, react, and cope.
Understanding those differences is the line between leading effectively and unintentionally burning a team to the ground.
The Events World Doesn’t Just Reveal Thinking Differences. It Magnifies Them
Events attract a unique mix of people. The anticipators. The fixers. The improvisers. The calm steady hands. The systems thinkers. The “just tell me what needs to happen” types. And the people who hold the emotional glue of the team together without ever being asked.
David Kahneman’s work on how humans think under uncertainty is accurate here. People fall back on the mental shortcuts shaped by their lived experience. Combine that with the Five-Factor Model of personality and the differences become obvious. One person goes silent and tactical when pressure rises. Another needs the full picture before acting. Another keeps the team together by managing the emotional fall-out of the moment.
And in events, you rarely choose who you work with. Teams are assembled from multiple agencies, partner organizations, vendors, volunteers, and functional areas. You might be shoulder-to-shoulder with someone you’ve known for years, or someone you met ten minutes ago in an operations centre. Their thinking style may be the opposite of yours.
If you do not understand this as a leader, you will misread situations constantly.
I have seen leaders mistake quiet focus for disengagement when the person was actually running rapid scenario modelling. I have seen leaders assume someone was panicking because they were talking out loud when that was their most efficient way of processing. I have watched teams judge each other based on communication speed or style when the real issue was simply two different operating systems trying to work under the same pressure.
Humility requires leading past your assumptions. In events, that is not optional. It is survival.
Your Internal Operating System Is Learned, Not a Gold Standard
My background is in logistics and operations. Decades of load-ins, turnarounds, venue builds, and major sports events shaped my wiring. When things heat up, my thoughts narrow. Noise falls away. I compartmentalize and move. It is not cold or detached. It is tactical. The faster the environment moves, the more I need that clarity.
But I have worked with exceptional colleagues whose minds work very differently. They need to talk things through. They need context. They need to see the wider picture. They track emotional risk, reputational risk, and stakeholder dynamics I might not pick up right away. They anticipate the human impacts that sit outside of my operational frame. They are often the ballast that keeps a team steady.
Both approaches are valid. Both are needed. Neither is the baseline human model.
The biggest mistake leaders make is assuming their internal model is the right one. It is not right. It is simply familiar.
Mental Load in Event Teams Is Not Shared Equally
This is an uncomfortable truth, but a real one. Arlie Hochschild’s work on emotional labour remains relevant in the events world. Not all labour is visible. Not all labour is recognized. People who hold the emotional or relational stability of a team often do so quietly.
In events, some people are carrying:
- operational risk
- logistics sequencing
- technical build and safety overlays
Others are carrying:
- team morale
- stakeholder trust
- communication temperature
- interpersonal stability
Both loads are significant. Both influence how a person’s brain reacts under pressure. And both should be understood by leadership.
Someone who has been holding the “human side” of a team for weeks is already mentally taxed before match day arrives. They cannot “just switch off,” because their role demands constant awareness.
If you are someone who can drop into a focused tunnel easily, good. But do not expect everyone to join you there. The mental load they carry shapes their thinking.
Humility means seeing these differences for what they are.
Pressure Exposes Thinking Styles Faster Than Anything Else
You see this dynamic during every major load-in.
Operations is thinking in sequencing.
Signage is thinking in approvals.
Volunteer management is thinking in communication flow.
Venue teams are thinking in hazards and movement.
City teams are thinking in political impact and public perception.
Event owners are thinking in brand protection and partner obligations.
Everyone is using a different mental map.
Gary Klein’s research on decision-making under pressure explains why. People rely on recognition-primed decisions, meaning they fall back on patterns shaped by their experience.
The question for a leader becomes simple.
Do you lead based on your mental map, or do you lead based on the map your team is actually using?
Rigid leaders cling to their own frame.
Humble leaders learn the frames in the room and adapt.
Where Leaders Usually Blow It
I will be honest. When I first started in the events world, I was the guy blowing it.
I expected people to work the way I did. Same pace. Same ability to compartmentalize. Same instinct to shut out the noise and move. When someone processed information differently, or asked what I thought were unnecessary questions, or took more time to understand the situation, I treated it as a problem rather than a difference.
It wasn’t intentional. It was inexperience mixed with a narrow understanding of how people operate under pressure. But it created friction. It created frustration for me, and likely for others. I had not yet learned that my operating system was not a default setting.
That lesson came the hard way.
Over time, and not always gracefully, I learned that people think, cope, and react in ways that reflect their own history, not mine. Some need time. Some need clarity. Some need to talk it through. Some are tracking emotional or relational dynamics that I simply wasn’t aware of back then.
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to leadership. Accepting that reduces unnecessary conflict and unlocks better performance from everyone.
Now, when I see a leader frustrated because someone “isn’t doing it right,” I recognize the old pattern instantly. It is the assumption that different equals deficient.
It does not.
Ego interprets difference as a mistake. Humility sees it as part of the landscape.
Amy Edmondson’s work on psychological safety highlights this. Teams perform better when differences are understood rather than punished. Daniel Goleman’s work on leadership styles reinforces the same point. Rigid leadership collapses under pressure. Adaptive leadership thrives.
Events tend to go a lot smoother for leaders who figure this out early. I wish I had known it sooner, and I learned it the hard way, but here I am now with a clearer understanding of what it really takes to lead people well. I’m better for having learned it, even if it came later than I would have liked.
A Leadership Diagnostic That Works in the Real World
The next time someone frustrates you, ask yourself:
Am I annoyed because they are doing it wrong,
or because they are doing it differently than I would?
If it is the second one, that is your work, not theirs.
Humility is knowing the difference.
Leadership is acting on it.
Closing Thoughts
In events, we do not lead controlled environments. We lead controlled chaos. We manage uncertainty, timelines, layered approvals, public expectations, risk, safety, volunteers, crowds, and moments where the pressure spikes without warning.
And we lead teams made up of people with completely different internal operating systems.
If you expect everyone to think like you, you will be frustrated forever.
If you assume your style is superior, you will misread the people you rely on.
If you cling to your own mental model as the “right” one, you will create conflict where none needed to exist.
Lead with humility. Recognize difference. Adapt to it. Respect the architecture of how people think. If you do that, you will build teams that trust you, stay with you, grow with you, and perform under pressure in ways most leaders never experience.
Your brain is not the blueprint.
Your way of thinking is not the standard.
The differences on your team are not an obstacle. They are your advantage.
Lead like you understand that, and everything else gets easier.